The cancer was back, she relapsed after over 2 and a half years of routine treatment for her ALL
Two and a half years passed. We gathered at her birthday to celebrate the end of the treatment and her birthday, ALIVE.
Just a day before the celebration, a Sunday, our celebration was cut short. We found out that she had fallen into relapse, the bone marrow test results came 70% infested with leukemia cells. The news shocked us. "We have to start a new chemo treatment otherwise she would not live to see this Thanksgiving" - suggested Dr. Lee from Emanuel Oncology group. The words cannot describe the pain we felt when we heard the news again. By now, only a miracle could save her. We were hopping and praying for this miracle. We thought it would come in a form envisioned by us: we were hopping that the next test she'll have, the test would come clear. It was not like that.
However, another boulder was added to our load, during this time, both my wife and I were laid off from work. I used to work for a company that makes computer chipsets. Their business was not going well; they decided to let a lot of people “go”. I really did not understand this, why had God allowed this to happen on top of everything? During the next few months, I realized God’s intention. If I had been working, I would have had to quit anyway, nobody would have kept me with about 80% of my time in the hospital with my daughter, and the rest of it spent with my pregnant wife. I did not understand why God was letting us go through all this.
Then one day, a Christian coworker opened my eyes. “Don’t you see how many hearts you’ve touched since they found out about your precious daughter?” She was put on the relapse treatment, the highest and strongest level of the treatments. There are three types of treatment: low risk, high risk and relapse. She was on low risk for two and a half years. The relapse treatment is extremely hard on her, it requires a lot of hospitalization and clinic visits. At one point, the treatment was so hard on her that she threw herself on the floor and asked me to let her die. "Daddy, just let me die”, she said, not being able to stand. She felt miserable, her body was like a cadaver: pale, powerless and weak. My heart felt like it had been torn out and then thrown into a bottomless ocean. I felt as if God had forgotten me. It didn’t make sense why He allowed us to go through all this, especially with a precious gift like Stephanie. She turned four in September of 2002. Continue